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The
Esmé Show
by
Tracy Weston
Episode 5
Attack of the Botox!
| Lulu: |
Dr. Littlechap... |
| Dr. L: |
DAMMIT! DON'T INTERRUPT ME! |
| Lulu: |
Dr...remember.. the
PLAN to destroy Tyler and Sydney??? |
| Dr. L: |
Oh yeah... COOL!! |
| Lulu: |
What is that Dr? |
| DR. L: |
It's a special
concoction of Botox and Collagen...plus a secret ingredient. This is
sure to ruin Tyler and Sydney!!! |
| Lulu: |
Tyler and Sydney
are going to be at an exclusive Spa... |
| Dr. L: |
MOIHAHAHAHAHA!
MOIHAHAHAHA! MOIHAHAHAHA! |
| Esme: |
Welcome to The Esme Show!
Happy 4th of July! |
| Sydney: |
Mei Li is such a tramp.
Who does she think she is? |
| Mei Li |
That's my outfit BITCH!! |
| Tyler: |
I'm hungry |
| Esme: |
Later today we'll
have a special guest, but first the ladies will introduce themselves... |
| Sydney: |
I'm Sydney Chase,
owner, Chairman and CEO, Creative Director and all things sacred to the
Chase Modeling Agency! |
| Mei Li: |
Yeah, only because
your daddy gave you the company!!! |
| Tyler: |
Dammit, doesn't
anybody care what I do?? |
| Esme: |
Now ladies... let's
conduct ourselves in a gracious manner, shall we??? |
| Sydney: |
You're asking for a
mega-dose of bitch-slapping, honey!! |
| Mei Li: |
BRING IT ON!! |
| Tyler: |
Man, I'm tired of
these two always stealing my thunder! |
| Esme: |
HEY! THIS IS MY
SHOW, DAMMIT! I'm gonna slap the hell outa both of you!! |
| Sydney: |
Why don't you pull
dragon lady's hair???? Ooooowwwww! |
| Mei Li: |
That's it!
I'm leaving!! |
| Tyler: |
Mei Li has a big
butt. I'm still hungry. |
| Esme: |
All right, little
Miss Psycho, why don't you drag your sorry ass off of my stage?? |
| Sydney: |
Great shoes! |
| Mei Li: |
Oh thanks!
You should have seen the salesman! Whoooo! |
| Esme: |
Am I gonna have to
kick some ass around here? Every damn time...Every damn time... |
| Sydney: |
Oh shut up!
It's great for ratings! You're not Oprah, for cryin'out loud. |
| Tyler: |
Can I get a
sandwich for hell's sake? |
| Esme: |
Our next guest...
what's your name? |
| Man-doll: |
Hey baby, just call
me MAN-DOLL!! |
| Esme: |
Boy, are you stupid
or something? What the hell kinda name is Man-doll? |
| Sydney: |
RRReeeoww! |
| Man-Doll: |
Check out my BUTT! |
| Sydney: |
What a shame. |
| Tyler: |
Oh NO! My ass is bigger!! |
| Esme: |
I'm just keepin' it
real, boy. You have no ass to speak of...zip, zero, nilch, nada.
You are an assless-man-doll |
| Man-Doll: |
but...chicks dig
me! |
| Esme: |
That's because
you're all they've got. |
| Esme: |
Okay, now the
ladies are going to check out an exclusvie spa for some R&R...and a
little...maintenance. |
| Sydney: |
How would you like
to be my live-in house boy? |
| Man-Doll: |
This is so cool! |
| Tyler: |
Sydney, you bitch!
I saw him first!!! |
| Esme: |
All right, get the hell outa
here!!! |
| Tyler: |
HOW COME I NEVER GET THE
MAN-DOLL????? |
| Lulu: |
Welcome ladies.
A few rules: No smoking, no drinking and you must follow a strict diet.
We are trying to detox. |
| Sydney: |
Sure, no problem. |
| Tyler: |
We'll be good as
gold! |
| Dr. L: |
Okay Lulu...prepare
to do EVIL!!! |
| Lulu: |
This is too easy
Dr. They'll be so plowed, they won't know what's going on. |
| Tyler: |
Want a bon-bon? |
| Sydney: |
No thanks. I have all the
nourishment I need. |
| Lulu: |
Don't make a move! |
| Sydney: |
It was just the one time!!! |
| Tyler: |
She's not talking about that,you
idot!!! |
| Sydney: |
This is all you're
fault, dumbass. |
| Tyler: |
What do you mean,
it was YOU'RE idea to come here!! I wanted to go to Ibiza!! |
| Dr. L: |
Now I have you both in my evil
clutches!!! You shall pay!! |
| Sydney: |
Pay for what? There's no
problem, I'm filthy rich. |
| Tyler: |
Yeah, me too. Do you take Visa
Platinum? |
| Dr. L: |
I don't want money!
I just want to be evil!!! I'm going to destroy your perfect looks.
Moihahahahaa! |
| Sydney: |
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! |
| Sydney: |
Alex, thank
goodness! Untie us!!! Dr. Littlechap injected us with something!! |
| Alex: |
Why should I help
you? You're always nasty to me!! |
| Tyler: |
I'll give you a
pair of Manolos'...make it two pairs!! |
| Alex: |
MANOLO BLAHNIK?
OKAY!!! |
| Sydney: |
I feel okay. I
really don't think that nasty little man injected us with anything harmful.
Except...I can't feel my left cheek... |
| Tyler: |
Mmmmrrypphsso
grlsoggle!!! |
|
Esme Show Episode One
Esme Show Episode Two
Esme Show Episode Three
Esme Show Episode Four
Esme Show Episode Five
Esme Show Episode Seven
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